Well, its been quite a long time since I updated this. And I have had a number of people ask me how I'm doing and if I'm still doing medifast. So I guess I'm here to give you an update on that.
The short answer is no, I'm not doing medifast anymore. Did I reach my goal weight? Sadly no. Its been a struggle these last few months. I have been gaining and losing the same 10lbs since May. I've been trying to stick to medifast and I'd have a few weeks here and there where 'd be good but then I'd slip one day on one meal and then just throw in the towel for the whole day. It was a cycle, one that I couldnt find a way to break.
And then the holidays happened. The holidays were beyond rough. I dont know if it was the added factor of having a boyfriend and his family to visit, or what but this holiday season was brutal. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas I must have had 1-2 off plan days every single week. If there is one thing that made progress on Medifast difficult it was knowing I had a day where being on plan was impossible. Most weeks I ended up accidentally caving multiple days a week simply because "whats the point? I'll be off this in a day anyway." Just before Christmas I decided to stay off Medifast until after the holidays and just calorie count because it is too expensive of a program to go on and off for a day. It only wastes meals and gets you no where.
Then after Christmas I had a realization. For a while now I've been realizing that I feel completely deprived on Medifast. I can't have the food that I want, even if it was healthy. Healthy meals that friends would make for double dates weren't an option because there would be a minimal amount of startch in it from flour or corn or carrorts. My binge eatting days would happen because I felt like I couldnt eat what I wanted, and so I binged on the things I could have (medifast chocolate bars) or binged on the things I couldnt have because I'd allow myself a bite and go crazy. It was really hard to see myself spiraling and not knowing how to fix the problem. I've considered going to talk to someone, even got the name of a counselor who specializes in eatting disorders (about the closest you can come when you have a bit of a food addiction). But I never made the call to make an appointment. I just want to solve the problem on my own.
Just after Christmas, faced with the knowledge that in a few days I'd be back to eatting those medifast bars and dehydrated food, I made a decision. I was done. My motivation was no longer there and my desire to have medifast meals was non-existant. I had been contemplating trying Weight Watchers for a few weeks so I decided to take the plunge on that. I've tried Weight Watchers in the past, but I've always failed. I didnt know how to be on a diet - how to listen to my body and eat when I'm hungry. How to properly hydrate and eat smaller meals more frequently. But these days Evan and I have gotten into a really good rhythm, making massive amounts of healthy food on Sundays for the two of us for the whole week. So I knew I could pre-plan my food to make tracking easy.
I wish I could say that the month that I have been on Weight Watchers has been splendid and that I'm down 15 more pounds. But its not. Its been less successful than I would like it to be. As in I've lost 1lb on it after having gained back some of the weight that I lost. But this is a case of the scale not accurately reflecting the amount of work I'm putting it. I track almost everything that I eat. What I dont track is minimal and its usually because I can't figure out how to track it. I work out 2-3 times a week, one of those days being an hour of weight training. And the throwing in the towel days are almost gone. At this point I'm trying to figure out the cause of the 1lb loss. It could be that I'm doing weight watchers incorrectly, or it could be my body trying to adjust to this new lifestyle. I haven't figured that out yet.
I will say that it is incredibly disheartening to be putting in the effort that I have been and not see results. When I put in the amount of effort on Medifast, the weight almost literally melted off. It scares me as I am afraid to end up back at 280lbs. You want your effort to mean something and to show results, and it is heartbreaking to have it not.
Its also infuriating because on both sides of the spectrum, between weight watchers and medifast, no one is giving me the help I need to figure out where the problem is. Medifast claims the problem is weight watchers, and weight watchers claims it is medifast. Sigh. I wont give up. I'll keep searching until I find out whats going on. Just hard after having come so far to stall.
So thats my update and where I'm at. Long winded, but there you go.
Total weight loss: 71.8 lbs!!!
Distance from Goal #1 (175 lbs): 34.4 lbs
Current Weight: 209.4 lbs